{"title":"Dockside Trinkets","description":"\u003cp\u003eSmall treasures from the Emporium. Perfect for gifts, trade, or bribing the harbor master. Pocket-sized island magic with a slightly mischievous grin.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"waldo-s-watch-laser-engraved-walnut-keychain","title":"Waldo’s Watch – Laser Engraved Walnut Keychain","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou ever get the feelin’ something’s watchin’ you?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat’s \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/shipwreckedschnauzer.com\/#story\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Story of the Shipwrecked Schnauzer\" rel=\"noopener\"\u003eWaldo\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis here ain’t just a keychain, it’s a pocket-sized guardian carved from solid walnut and branded with Waldo’s stern, don’t-even-try-it expression. Laser-engraved deep into the grain, he stands there like a tiki totem bouncer at the gates of poor decision-making.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome folks hang lucky charms from their keys.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI hang a schnauzer who’s survived shipwrecks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach piece is cut from real walnut hardwood, which means no two are exactly alike. The grain shifts. The tone varies. The spirit? Constantly judging. The leather strap and antique brass ring give it that “been around the Cape twice” look...even if the roughest waters you face are in the Home Depot parking lot.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eClip it to:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYour keys\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYour sea bag\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYour tackle box\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYour workshop apron\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOr anything else that needs mild supernatural supervision\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWaldo doesn’t bark much.\u003cbr\u003eHe just stares at danger until it gets uncomfortable and leaves.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd remember, If something goes wrong and you weren’t carrying Waldo?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWell....\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat’s on you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e— \u003cem\u003eCaptain Crispy\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Captain Crispy's Tiki Emporium and Rum Soaked Woodworks","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53199631253868,"sku":null,"price":5.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0969\/2948\/1068\/files\/IMG_0233.jpg?v=1772049280"},{"product_id":"jade-tile-tiki-slate-coasters","title":"Jade Tile Tiki Slate Coasters","description":"\u003cp\u003eLong before GPS, before sunscreen, before common sense, there were jade breezeway tiles and stern tiki faces standing guard over strong drinks and stronger stories.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis first run of Captain Crispy’s slate coasters is inspired by the classic vintage jade tile pattern. The kind you might find in a 1962 breezeway, quietly watching as the ice clinks and the night gets interesting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach design is laser engraved into natural black slate, creating a crisp frosted contrast that looks carved by island spirits. It wasn’t, but I will admit they may have supervised.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat You Get\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA set of 4 solid slate coasters\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic vintage tiki jade tile design\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNatural chiseled edges, each one slightly unique\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eProtective feet underneath to guard your furniture\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSized perfectly for rum old fashioneds, mai tais, or whatever you dare to pour\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy These Are Different\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThese are not printed.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThey are not glued on.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThey are not pretending to be tiki.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe artwork is engraved directly into real slate. Heavy. Durable. Built to handle condensation from drinks that could wake something ancient.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you are outfitting your home tiki bar, your patio deck, or a secret jungle hideaway, these coasters bring just enough mid-century island swagger to make your guests curious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePour something bold.\u003cbr\u003eSet it down.\u003cbr\u003eLet the tiki stand guard.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCaptain Crispy approves.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Captain Crispy's Tiki Emporium and Rum Soaked Woodworks","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53220035133804,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0969\/2948\/1068\/files\/IMG_0245.jpg?v=1772467971"},{"product_id":"the-pocket-guardians","title":"The Pocket Guardians","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNot every guardian needs to be six feet tall and covered in torches.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThese miniature tiki totems are carved from solid wood and finished with rich, warm tones that bring out the grain and character. At just a few inches tall, they’re ideal for desks, bar shelves, or keeping watch over your rum supply.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThey travel well. They judge quietly. They approve selectively.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Captain Crispy's Tiki Emporium and Rum Soaked Woodworks","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53220610834796,"sku":null,"price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0969\/2948\/1068\/files\/IMG_0262.jpg?v=1772486999"},{"product_id":"waldo-s-wreckage-bottle-opener","title":"Waldo’s Wreckage Bottle Opener","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhen the rum is flowing and the caps refuse to surrender, Waldo stands ready. This round bamboo bottle opener bears the etched likeness of the island’s fiercest little guardian, keeping watch among the palms while helping you crack open a cold one with proper shipwrecked dignity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBuilt with a magnetic back, it clings fast to your refrigerator, tool chest, or any convenient patch of crashed plane wreckage you happen to have lying about. Equal parts useful, rugged, and suspiciously handsome, this little relic is ready for kitchens, tiki bars, and misadventures of every kind.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Captain Crispy's Tiki Emporium and Rum Soaked Woodworks","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53296298787180,"sku":null,"price":8.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0969\/2948\/1068\/files\/1.jpg?v=1773332214"}],"url":"https:\/\/captaincrispytiki.com\/collections\/dockside-trinkets.oembed","provider":"Captain Crispy's Tiki Emporium and Rum Soaked Woodworks","version":"1.0","type":"link"}